Transformational Living at Work--
Expressing Spirit
By Laura Rodriguez
from BusinesSpirit Journal
August/September 1997

When you greet Ellen Hayakawa you feel loved.  That's because she hugs you hello and won't let go until you're ready. I've been the beneficiary of these hugs and I've watched from there. I've watched at a distance as she greets the people. Sometimes a hug lasts a minute. Some people wipe a tear from their eye.  Always the embrace ends with both parties smiling and conversing. There's a long line for Ellen's greetings.  No wonder,  one leaves feeling very warm and fuzzy. 

So I'm watching and admiring Ellen and I ask myself, "You're a hugger, Laura. You hug your friends and family all the time. Why don't you do it at work?"

Well, we all know handshakes are more acceptable, don't we? And what about sexual harassment? It's too risky. What will they think of me? Besides, some people don't feel comfortable being hugged, right?

Yes, but most people crave it. I've heard we need something like 10 hugs per day just to maintain our health. Ideally, we should receive more. Since we spend a lot of time at work and don't do a lot of hugging there. I'd guess that many of us are suffering from a major case of HDD (Hug Deficit Disorder).

So I chose to be authentic while still being respectful.  I picked my moments to offer hugs.  It was scary, but I trusted in knowing my intent was loving.  I've learned to save hugs for people with whom I've developed a relationship.  When I meet someone new, a warm handshake and a smile still suffices.  But even with new people, I'm more daring now: I might offer a hug goodbye if we've made a good connection.

I've now hugged dozens of workshop participants, clients, and colleagues.  When I do, I also try to communicate verbally how I love the person by saying, 'You're really terrific," or, 'It was wonderful spending time with you."
Only a few people have bristled, most have glowed.  And when that happens, I thank Ellen and send her a mental hug.